30 Days to Go!

I can't believe it! 30 days, give or take and this baby will be done cookin'!

I'm anxious and excited and feeling very unprepared. I haven't spent much time around newborns, not since Jesse and Sarah were little, and even then I didn't have much to do with midnight feedings and dirty diapers.

Everyone seems to love telling me to soak up the sleep now....and I keep wondering to myself 'what sleep?' Between the thoughts circling in my head at night, the 6-7 trips to the bathroom, the hip pain, and the fight I'm losing with my belly, when am I getting sleep? I don't mean to be a whiner, but jeez I am starting to get uncomfortable. I'm okay during the day. For the most part, things are quiet, I do make several trips to the bathroom, but it's the night time that I have started to dread. I can't seem to catch my breath because baby is pushing on my lungs, and I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like there's an elephant sitting on my chest because I'm lying on my back!

Christmas shopping this weekend was quite an adventure as well. Never mind the 8 million people that were driving crazy, or pushing through the crowds. I had to overcome bathroom trips, swift kicks or punches to my cervix, and that overall heavy feeling I get lately. I haven't gained much weight, but the way I'm caring, I feel like I've gained 50 lbs. I would walk past two or three stores at the mall and start to get winded. I keep telling Jeff that I don't know how the morbidly obese handle it. I can't wait to get this weight off of me or should I say out of me....just so I can function again.

And now for the good stuff....Jeff finished painting the nursery! It took a month, but it's finally done. We haven't put anything in there yet. I'm waiting until after the holidays to do that. I still want to steam clean the carpet, and that will take a little time for it to dry since it's too cold to open windows. This next pay day is dedicated to ordering curtains and other little odds and ends that will make her room complete. I'm looking forward to having it done, but since we got the bassinet put together, I don't feel like I'm totally unprepared. She won't be sleeping in her room for the first few weeks anyway, so even if I went into labor next week, it wouldn't be a big deal if her room isn't done.

And..we went to our birth class. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was long...and didn't really offer much more new information. It promoted 'natural' childbirth. I was disappointed that they didn't go into more detail about emergency c-sections or different pain relievers. I know that the whole point for the class is to teach you to cope without those things, but the reality is, not everyone will be able to handle the pain. I guess I just felt like they shouldn't push one idea and should at least try to cover the other 'what if's.'

So, now I'm just working on getting through Christmas. I know that sounds bad, but really it's just another milestone for me on my way to babyland. I really couldn't have cared less if we put the tree up or exchanged gifts. It sounds horrible, and my mom likes to tell me I wish my life away, but I just want to meet my little girl already! I'm done waiting!

7 Weeks and Counting....

Okay, I guess at 33 weeks, the time has come. I am definitely feeling pregnant these days. It’s still not as bad as all of the horror stories I’ve heard, but if I had a nickel for every time I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I could retire at 25!

Last night has been the worst so far. I didn’t actually keep count, but I went to bed around 10:00p.m., and needed to visit the bathroom every 1-1.5 hours after that. Then while I’m stumbling to the bathroom with no lights on, I realize that I’m thirsty. So I get a drink of water, and before I know it, I’m rolling out of bed to do my business again. And to top it all off, the dog woke me up last night so I let her out, and she didn’t even go potty. She just stood there and ate grass. Needless to say, I was not in a stellar mood this morning and actually hit the snooze button instead of getting up at my regular time. Of course, that’s after I went to the bathroom when the alarm went off the first time….

I told Jeff last night that I’m starting to feel like a rollie pollie. I can’t actually sit up to get out of bed, I sort of do this half roll thing and grab onto the fitted sheet to pull myself up. Then, there’s trying to get off our couch. For some reason, my usual seat is the hardest one for me to wiggle out of. I’ve taken to sitting in the middle of the couch because I don’t feel so sunk in, which means less work trying to get up. Even then, I have to scoot to the edge of the seat and push up with my fists just to get up to…you guessed it….go pee!

Really though, I haven’t had much pain yet. I do feel like my ribs are starting to spread. They’re just sore most of the time. And this little girl seems to enjoy stretching, so it feels like she’s pushing on my bladder and making it impossible to breathe all at the same time. And, depending on how the baby sits, my right thigh has started going numb. It’s not painful, just a weird sensation. It doesn’t last long, especially if she shifts, but she must be pressing on something in there. I’m just glad it’s numb and not sciatica pain, which I’ve had before when I wasn’t pregnant and that’s no fun. I can’t imagine dealing with that on top of every other symptom pregnancy throws at you.

So, all in all I know I must me making progress and she must be getting bigger because I feel like there’s not much more room in there for her. We only have 7 weeks left until the estimated D-Day, and part of me feels like we’re no where close to being ready, while the other part of me just wants to get her out so I can cuddle her…and breathe again.

Time for an Update!

Sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve been super busy at work, and our computer at home has been taken down so we can work on the baby’s room. If you’ve been reading Jeff’s blog at all, you know that we’ve been traveling like crazy and having a great time. I guess we’re trying to get it all done before parenthood takes over and we find it difficult to do even the most mundane tasks.

Everything is going well in babyland. I’ll be 32 weeks tomorrow and I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed. It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was waving my positive pregnancy test in Jeff’s face and yelling “I’m pregnant!” I remember thinking at the time when I was just a measly 5 weeks along that January 20th was so far away. Now I’m in the single digit countdown and I’m starting to get both excited and anxious. I’ve found it hard to focus at work and I lose my train of thought a lot because I am so preoccupied with this little one. I’ve been starting to wonder if she’ll have a lot of hair like Jeff did when he was born, will she be dark like me, or have green eyes like her daddy? Will she be an easy going baby or will we be pacing the hallway with her the first few months? And the most important ones…will I be a good mommy? Will I be able to handle the pain of labor and delivery? All these things are floating around in my head and they seem to consume me at the most inopportune times, like when my boss asks me a question, or Jeff’s telling me a story about something that happened at work!

My shower was a little under two weeks ago and it was great. Sarah is a great party planner/thrower and it all turned out perfect. There were about 30-40 people there and tons of good food. The theme: pink and brown polka dots! The cake: from a little bakery in Chico called The Upper Crust. I was actually sad when I finished the last piece. But, it’s probably a good thing we can’t get cake like that in Susanville. I’d be as big as a barn by now!

The baby and I were showered with tons of gifts that day and now I’m just focusing on the little things that we need to stock up on. I haven’t even begun to go through everything because I still have nowhere to put it! It’s mostly my fault. I picked a paint color that I thought I would love, and it turns out I don’t like it so much. So we’re going with a clean white and now the hard part is just getting the both of us motivated to work on it. Jeff won’t let me help paint, so I’m feeling pretty helpless. I have to say though, I’m feeling the pressure. I’m just itching to get it all done so it’s one more thing I can mark off my list. My nightmares these days have been that I go into early labor and I don’t have a single thing washed or packed. I know it’s ridiculous, but I suppose it a first time mommy thing.

And there’s something that I’d like to address right here, on my blog. A comment was made, I don’t know by whom, because I didn’t personally hear it, but it was said and feelings were hurt. Admist all the gift giving, the impression that some people got was that my mom didn’t get us anything because they didn't see a wrapped gift from her. That’s a very wrong assumption. The entire time I was opening presents I was sitting in a rocker/glider that she bought for the nursery. Draped on the side of it was a baby blanket that she quilted for the baby, as well as a huge stuffed bunny that works as a pillow and an overnight bag. She’s also crocheting something that she won’t let me see, which is driving me crazy!

But, that day was not about who got the baby the most gifts. It was about celebrating a new little life. Jeff and I are thankful whenever someone thinks about our daughter and decides to give her a gift. It doesn't matter to us who got her what, because we aren't keeping score. We're just glad that our baby girl is lucky enough to have so many people who love her and are excited to meet her.

Well Hello 3rd Trimester

That's right folks! The countdown has started. According to my ticker, I'm 28 weeks, 1 day pregnant. I'm still feeling pretty lucky, since my complaints are minimal. The biggest annoyance these days has been my lack of sleep, but I think that has more to do with adjusting to the time change since returning from Hawaii. (I'll post our story and some pictures this weekend...maybe....)

Baby girl is getting bigger by the minute. In the last few days her kicks and squirms are much stronger and feel like they happen all day long. It seems like the only time she rests is the hour or two before bedtime, and then she gets her second wind and kicks her daddy in the back all night.

My back has also been a little achy, which isn't helping me sleep. It seems I can't find a comfortable position and the bad part is, I know it will only get worse. I'm also having a really strange pain right next to my belly button. It feels almost like a pulled muscle, but it doesn't go away after a few days. The pregnant body is just strange sometimes.

The next thing I'm looking forward to is the baby shower. It's a little over two weeks away and I can't wait. I haven't bought anything for the baby except her home coming outfit and baby book, so it will be nice to have some of the necessities and cute outfits around the house. Aside from my expanding belly, there will actually be evidence of a newborn on the way! How exciting is that?

So, I'm a Slacker....

Most things have been quiet here in Honea land.

We've been slowly preparing for our baby girl. And when I say slowly, I mean at a snails pace! I know I still have time, but the anxious mama in me is starting to get antsy. Her bedroom is cleaned out, I just need Jeff to move all the heavy stuff and relocate the computer then we can start painting. I was hoping to have everything done by the this time next month, but I don't know if that's going to happen since I've been so indecisive on the theme. I finally picked out her bedding. I had the hardest time finding something I liked. I didn't want something too girly, but I didn't want anything gender neutral either. So I settled on a bedding set from Target that doesn't have too much pink all over it, and just enough polka dots to suit me.

My favorite part of the day has been after dinner, while Jeff's doing the dishes. I get in the bath and wait. After a few minutes baby girl starts wiggling and jumping around. It's precious to watch and makes me feel like I'm starting to get to know her.

So far, she seems to have stubborn streak, just like both of her parents. After much prodding and poking, and at least 10 tries, she finally let her Grandma Cannon feel her kick. That's been the way it goes with most people. As soon as she feels someone's hand on my belly, she stops all movement! Then I just look like the crazy pregnant lady who thinks her baby is kicking!

Oh and the shopping! I've refrained from purchasing anything until now. We have our registry almost complete at Target, but I still wanted to get some things that were just from us. I've only bought her baby book and home coming outfit, but that's only because we're leaving for Maui on Saturday and I knew I had to watch my spending.

Here are some pictures. As usual, I can't get them to load at the right size, so click on them if you have to.

Here I am at 25 weeks.

And here is little girl's homecoming outfit.

She's a Girl!

It's official. Baby Honea is all girl. We had our gender scan yesterday and our ultrasound tech said there's no mistaking it this time. It was a great appointment, we even got to see her move her mouth and they took a picture of her long fingers.

We are very excited and can't wait to meet her!

Here are some pictures from yesterday.

Here's a pic of her fingers and and her other hand is down by her knees. She was playing with her toes right before they snapped this picture.

This one is another picture of her face. You can see the lens in her eye and her chubby cheeks.

It's Been A Long Time

It's been a long time since I posted something. I guess that's because nothing much has really been going on. Baby Honea is growing and kicking just like they should be. Their kicks are getting so strong now that I can feel it with my hand on the outside of my belly. But of course every time I try to show Jeff, this stubborn baby decides to stop kicking!

At my last Dr.'s appointment they told me I'd gained 5 lbs, which was sort of a bummer. I know the scale was going to start going up eventually, but I was secretly hoping it would start in my third trimester. I'm still 6lbs lighter than when I first got pregnant though, which is a good thing.

Now here's a picture of me. I'm not really showing like a skinny girl would, but this dress seems to showcase the belly. Like I said on my myspace page, it's not all baby yet, but it's not all chub either.

And this is the diaper bag my cousin Veronica made me. Isn't she crafty? She also filled it up with a bunch of goodies and brought me a huge bag full of maternity clothes. She's one of my new favorite people! lol

I can't get it to load right, so click on the picture so you can look at the whole thing.

It's A.......Mystery?!

We still don't know for sure, but the ultrasound tech said that she's leaning towards a girl. She couldn't see any 'boy parts' but we go back in four weeks just to be on the safe side. So, while I'm not shopping for anything pink just yet, I'm starting to think of what it will be like raising a little girl. I just kept thinking in my head that this baby was a boy. Of course, it could still turn out to be a boy, but measuring at 20 weeks and 2 days I think the tech would be able to see something by now.

So, for now, I will call it a she. Her heartbeat was beating 155 beats per minute and she's just perfect. They pointed out all of her features like the arms, legs, feet and hands. In this picture you can see her eyes and little round belly. It's just amazing and makes me so anxious for January to hurry up and get here!

Things a Dad Just Shouldn't Say To His Pregnant Daughter

"Aren't we looking chubby today?"

Yup, as spoken by my dad, Tim Cannon!

Waiting for September 1st

That's the date of our ultrasound. I'm hoping that baby Honea will cooperate and tell us what it is. In the meantime, I'm just wanting this work week to end quickly so next week can hurry up and get here! I seriously can't concentrate. It's like being a little kid and anxious for Christmas morning. I have to say though, whether this baby is a boy or a girl, it's gotta be by far the best present I've ever been given.

Why is it that the moment a couple announces they are expecting they are immediately taken off the party list. I'm not talking about those keg stand kind of parties either. Jeff and I are sort of past that point in our lives anyway and wouldn't be interested in a party like that these days.

We have a mixed group of friends. We have those who are still down to party no matter what night of the week it is, and those who have children and are tired and in bed by 10:00p.m. Jeff and I used to be able to jump from group to group without a problem. We were that couple who would love to hang out and drink a couple beers, or spend the evening on the floor with our friend's two year old and play puzzles or read a book to them.

When we have hosted a party, we invited everyone. We didn't discriminate no matter what their family status. If it was going to be a party with alcohol there, we would let our friends with little ones know that there would be adults drinking and they would decide if they wanted to bring their kids or not.

We have heard rumblings from other friends that have attended get togethers that we would normally have been invited to, and didn't get an invite. Like an annual BBQ cook off. Jeff participated in it a year or two ago and we had a blast. It wasn't a party centered around booze it was just a fun time bbq'ing and trying different types of cooking. And, if people do decide to drink, it's not like I'll be jonesing for a beer, forget that I'm pregnant and won't be able to control myself. If that's the case, I should probably check myself into AA.

It just feels like some of our friends think we're not worth being friends with anymore because we're going to be parents. This is such an exciting time for us. We're adding a whole other person to our family. Instead of friends being supportive and happy, we just don't hear from them anymore.

Now, if you're the handful of friends who have still been calling us and hanging out with us, please don't think I'm complaining about you. We love all of our friends and I think that's why it hurts when we hear about parties or dinners and we don't get a phone call.

Calling All Mama's

Jeff and I have an ultrasound scheduled for September 1st. We are hoping our baby will cooperate and we will be able to tell if it's a boy or a girl. Once that's done, we'll be starting our baby registry. Since I've never been a mommy before, and have no clue what to ask for, I'm asking all my mommy friends to help me out. I would love it if even my lurkers responded to this one. It would be fun!

So, here's the question: What is the one thing that you bought/received that was the most helpful in caring for baby?

I Must Be Crazy!

So, we're going camping this weekend. I'm not much of a camper on a normal day and here I am attempting it when I'm having trouble sleeping and have to visit the bathroom 3-4 times a night. At least I'll be able to float around in the lake!

And....yesterday I wore my first maternity top to work. It still looked to big on me, but all my other shirts are getting too short.

And, does anyone know why almost every single maternity blouse or dress or anything made to cover the front of the belly has a bow on it?

Weeks 12-16

I can't believe I'm already in the second trimester. So far this pregnancy has been fairly easy. I almost hate saying it, or typing it, I just know I'll jinx myself! But, I at least have to acknowledge it. I know so many women who had morning sickness the entire first trimester and were just generally miserable the entire time they were pregnant.

My complaints are few and far between. I'm in desperate need of some new clothes, but that will have to wait until next weekend when we can make a trip to Reno. My complexion isn't much to talk about either. I'm getting pimples and little bumps where I never got them before. I've never had a zit on my cheek and I woke up one morning with a second head growing out of the side of my face. I keep waiting for the 'glowing' effect of pregnancy, but so far it's just pimples.

Another new development, movement! I know people will tell me it's way too early and it's just gas, but seriously, if this is gas then I need to get myself to the Dr. ASAP! It doesn't feel like gas it feels more like twitching. I usually feel it when I'm getting ready for bed, or I'm laying on my side. I don't feel it often or every day, but I had a particularly trying day at work last Wednesday and when I finally sat on the couch to rest I felt this little thump thump right in the center of my lower abdomen. At first I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but then a few minutes later it happened again. I think Baby Honea has decided to make themselves be known and was reminding me I needed to take it easy more often. Now I just cant' wait until Jeff can feel it too.

Strange Dreams

These pregnancy hormones have been giving me some weird dreams lately. The first clue that I had that I was pregnant was the dream I had two days before I took a pregnancy test.

I dreamt that I was 9 months pregnant with a little boy and I was in labor in a friends kitchen. I ended up on the kitchen table trying to push the baby out when the women from Sex and The City came in and told me that the baby was too big and I needed to have a c-section. I agreed, and Sarah Jessica Parker proceeded to cut me me open with a butcher knife!

I've had other dreams since then that stand out, but last night's was by far the scariest. Jeff and I had just bought a new bed and for some reason we were sleeping in driveway. I had bought some really expensive sheets to go with our new bed. It was the middle of the night and we woke up to our sheets on fire and we were in it...I'm sure that someone could analyze this dream, but I don't even want to know what it means!

These dreams have just felt so real. I wake up in the morning and I have to remind myself that I have been sleeping the whole time and only dreaming.

I Guess It's That Time

Yesterday I got home and changed into some comfy pj's. That's when I noticed the markings on my belly. It looked like I was still wearing my work pants because I had a perfect outline of all the seams from my pants. So, being just 13 weeks, I did it. Today I'm wearing my belly band and a bigger shirt. I dont' look pregnant, I just look like I don't know how to buy clothes that don't fit. But, I am SOOOO comfortable! And right now, that's all I care about.

Weeks 9-12

It seems as though this pregnancy is going to fly by. I haven't had much time to focus on this little miracle since Jeff and I have been spending our time with our family.

I'm just entering my 12th week and so far so good. I am having a bit of back troubles, but I don't think that's due to my pregnancy. Last week I was bent over funny working on some things around the house and the next morning I started having twinges in my back, which led to pain and numbness shooting down my butt and leg. I've had this before and usually a quick trip to the Chiropractor is all I need. Well, being the cautious pregnant gal that I am, I called my baby Dr. to see if I could go get popped by the chiropractor. They said it wasn't a good idea! I have a regular appointment scheduled for Monday and the Dr. will look at me then. Monday is a long ways away when we're talking about back pain and sleepless nights. But, what can you do?

I've also noticed that my pants are starting to get tight. I'm trying really hard to remind myself that it's the baby growing. It's just hard to be a bigger girl to begin with and start watching your waistline disappear little by little each month. I went shopping at a maternity store and I can see I'll be having the same troubles with sizes that I did before I got pregnant. All of the pants are too long! I didn't try any of the petites since I was feeling discouraged and that little pregnancy pillow they give you really isn't a self esteem booster! But I did buy a really cute dress that I'm planning on wearing to the baby shower.

All complaining aside, I'm very excited to be experiencing all of these new things and the further along I get the easier it is for me to picture this baby just growing and floating around in there. It's hard to believe how much it has grown in the eight weeks since we found out we were expecting. I can't even imagine what will be happening with my body in the next few months!

Grief

Grief is a peculiar thing. It seems to hit each person differently. As most of you know, Jeff's dad passed two weeks ago after a long battle with brain cancer. The services were held last week, and it was amazing. There had to have been over 300 people there. The procession to the cemetery seemed to last for miles.

And then all of a sudden, after spending the whole week planning the services and visiting with family and friends it's time to go back to regular life. I think that's what I've been having the hardest time with. We had the funeral last Tuesday and I was back at work on Wednesday. It seemed so odd to me that I was supposed to forget to be sad and start caring again about where a piece of paperwork got filed or complete a background for a new hire. These things seem so small now. My life and my family's life will be changed forever, and now we're supposed to go back to what I was doing the week before Rick passed. It just seems unreal.

Then there are the days where we're with friends and we're enjoying ourselves, laughing and having a good time. Part of me feels guilty. I know that Rick wouldn't want us to feel that way, but I can't help it. I just wish that there was a book with set rules on how to grieve. Like, it's been two weeks, now you should be feeling this way. Instead it sneaks up on me at odd times during the day and I start thinking about everything I'm going to miss about my father in law and everyone else who is going to miss him too.

I fully believe that Rick is in a better place. I think that right now he's visiting with his parents, and nieces and cousin and having a great time. Gloria has said that we're not sad for him, we're sad for us, and she's right. I just wish that it didn't hurt so much for my family, but I guess that's just proof that Rick was a great man worth being missed.

The First 8 Weeks

So far, this pregnancy has gone smoothly. In the middle of my 5th week I was feeling very nauseous and having a hard time imagining dealing with it for the next 7 or so weeks. Thankfully, that week was the only week that I felt I could actually throw up. The rest of the time I’ve just felt some slight nausea and nothing more.

I was not prepared for the exhaustion. Jeff and I have some very serious and grown up things we are dealing with in our family and it’s very hard because sometimes I feel like I’ve been hit with a tranquilizer dart. I seem to catch a second wind after I get home from work and am able to change into some comfy clothes, but I’m still ready for bed by 9:00p.m.

Now, as I’m into my 9th week, I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown. I can’t wait until we find out if this little person is a boy or a girl and we can start shopping. My instincts are telling me it’s a boy, but only time will tell. Right now, I feel like I can’t even really look at anything because there is hardly anything neutral out there. We have a couple nursery ideas we’re thinking of, but nothing will be set in stone until our ultrasound results.

And…we’re not telling anyone our names. I’ve thrown a few ideas out there to other people and I either get the polite, appropriate response of ‘That’s so cute!’ or ‘Aww!’ Then there have been times where people just look at me with a blank stare or tell me that they don’t like it at all. I don’t feel like listening to the peanut gallery’s comments, so once the baby is born we will announce the name, and if people don’t like it, that’s fine with me. I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t give birth to this baby then!

Our Story

Deciding to try to get pregnant was not a decision we made lightly. I think Jeff wanted to start having babies as soon as the ink was dry on the marriage certificate. I was more content to wait for a while. I wanted to enjoy being newly weds and soak up the time we had to ourselves. Besides, once I got pregnant, I was going to be someone’s mother for the rest of my life. I just wasn’t sure I was ready for such a life changing experience.

Six months into our marriage, Jeff and I both decided it was time to start trying. I was a little nervous, but mostly excited. I’m the kind of person that once I make up my mind about something, especially a big decision, I want it done immediately. Besides, almost all of the women in my family never had any problems getting pregnant, so I figured I’d be looking at a positive pregnancy test by the end of the month. I was so naïve back then.

I went off of the Pill in December 2007. I had done my research and understood that it may take a little while for my body to adjust. I still watched my cycle and we tried at what I felt like was the appropriate time. Five weeks and about a million pregnancy tests later, nothing was happening. Then one day I woke up to a horrible pain on my right side. I tried to ignore it, figuring that maybe I was ovulating late, or this was just my body’s way of processing things without the birth control. That morning at work, the pain got so bad that I decided to have Jeff take me to urgent care. They examined me and decided I needed to go to the hospital and have an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that I had a Corpus Luteum Cyst. Basically my body went into overdrive without the pill, tried to ovulate and failed. They gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory and sent me on my way. They told me that my cycle may be delayed due to the cyst, but not to worry.

Four months went by and no period in sight. I made an appointment with my regular health care provider to discuss what the next step should be. I was very disappointed with the appointment. The Nurse Practitioner basically patted me on the head and told me I’d be pregnant within the year. She gave me a few pills that were supposed to help me start my period and told me not to worry; I have all the time in the world to get pregnant.

In April 2008, I was still waiting to start a new cycle so we can try to get pregnant. I took those pills that my Dr. gave me and have the worst period of my entire life. I actually took a day off of work because I was cramping so badly. I figured it would all be worth it though, if it would help me get pregnant the next month.

A month goes by, and I still haven’t ovulated or had a normal period. June comes and goes and nothing. I go back to the Dr. where they test me for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. All the tests came back negative. My Dr. told me to go home and relax; I would be pregnant as soon as my body remembered how to ovulate.

During all of this, we hadn’t told anyone we were trying. We had been married a year and apparently the first year is your grace period. No one bothers you about starting a family. All bets are off after the one year mark. At first we would laugh them off and say things like ‘oh, we like our alone time’ or ‘are you crazy? We haven’t been to Europe yet!’ I knew these people didn’t mean anything by it, they didn’t even know that my body wasn’t working right, but it still hurt just the same.

In August, after I had started taking my temperature at the same time every morning to try and catch any sign of ovulation, I could see that I was going to ovulate! I was so excited. 115 days after the period from Hell, my body was finally going to do something. All systems a go! There was just one problem; Jeff was out of town on a business trip! It was like I couldn’t catch a break. Jeff and I were both bummed, but figured that it was a sign of good things to come and now we could really start really trying.

I managed to ovulate every month, but we had decided give our selves a break and stop trying to track things. Let things happen as they would. November was a bust since Jeff had his shoulder surgery and needed to recuperate. I was so sure that we hit the mark in December, and thought it would be great to get a positive test Christmas morning. We were both very disappointed.

It had been a full year since we decided to expand our little family. Jeff and I were both so tired of trying, and it seemed like everyone I knew was either pregnant or had just had their babies. I seriously went to 6 baby showers in that year. That is no exaggeration!

In the meantime I told a handful of people about our problems and they kept telling me to relax, it will happen. I’m sure at one point in my life I have probably said the same thing to a struggling couple. It DOESN’T help. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Maybe if I weren’t so worried I would get pregnant just like that! Maybe I just needed a vacation…or maybe something wasn’t working and I couldn’t get anyone to listen to me.

January came and went, but this time I never got my period. I decided to wait it out. I didn’t do anything until April. I made an appointment with a new Dr. who decided to take a more proactive approach. He scheduled me for a Hysterosalpinogram to make sure that my fallopian tubes were clear and there was nothing wrong with my uterus. He told me that there was some pain involved and to pop a couple of ibuprofen before the procedure, so of course when I got home I looked it up online and read all of the horror stories from other women who had had it done. Oh, and I found out that our insurance wouldn’t cover the procedure so I was taking a thousand dollar chance that I actually needed to have this done.

I had the HSG on April 15. It didn’t hurt much, just some cramping. They were able to tell that my reproductive organs were text book perfect and I should have no problems carrying a baby to term.

Since we had tried so long without success, the Dr. decided to write me a prescription for Clomid. It’s a drug that is supposed to help you ovulate. Jeff and I were both feeling unsure about taking this drug, and really felt that we wanted to give it one more try. Two weeks later we found out we were pregnant!

I know that our story isn’t nearly as rough and sad as other couple’s, but it was still a very long journey for us. It was full of heartache and pain and frustration. But it has been worth it because I am not taking a second of this pregnancy for granted.

I know it’s still early but I already love this baby so much and cannot wait to meet s/he and one day tell them how hard their parents tried to bring them into this world and how loved they were before we even met them.

Update to the Dress Nightmare

My dress finally arrived at about 7:30 on Friday evening. Remember I needed it by Saturday so I could wear it to a wedding I was attending....Anyway, I had ordered the size needed to match my measurements, and it was too big! It looked more like a moomoo and I just couldn't see myself wearing it. I took it to my mom's house at 7:00a.m. Saturday morning and since she's a wonderful mommy, she took it in for me! I will probably never shop online for clothes again!

I Guess Today Just Wasn't My Day

I have a wedding to attend this weekend. I've known about this wedding for the last year, and we recieved the invitation in March or April. It's been on my fridge since we got it in the mail. I think I even RSVP'd the day I opened the envelope.

Now, since I've known about this wedding for quite some time, I've been looking at dresses online, trying to decide which one I liked, and how much I was willing to spend on it.

I found the dress that I wanted. I loved it! It was flirty and cute and colorful. I ordered it from JCPenny's and it was at my house 2 days later. When I tried it on, it didn't fit. They seemed to have forgotten that there should be material across the front of the dress. Everything else looked good, but there was a little too much flesh exposed if you know what I mean! Jeff told me it looked great, but I'm going to a wedding, not a dance club.

So, with a week left until the wedding, I order another dress. This one is modestly cut and still just as cute and flirty. 4 days go by, and no dress. I check my email and in my junk box there is a message saying that my VISA was declined. That can't be! We have more than enough money to cover the charges. It's Wednesday, which means that after I talk to customer service, I have to pay extra to have it Fed - Exed. Great.

After being transferred to three different people they finally told me that they just tried to run my card again and it went through, the dress should be here in a week. I told them I don't have a week. I need this dress by Saturday. The lady tells me that they will have to cancel the order and reorder it. I tell her to do it already! So, one cancelled order, and $27.00 in shipping and I should have the dress here by Friday. What a relief!

Two hours later, while Jeff and I were at lunch the phone rings. It's JCPenny's telling me my order won't clear, that there's something wrong with my VISA! I cancelled my order and decided I wasn't going to the wedding! Nothing is worth this much hassle!

Later, I cool off and call the bank. They look our account and tell me that Visa will not allow 3 online charges in the same day. That logic doesn't make sense to me, but I go with it. I call my mom and ask if she'll let me use her card and I'll bring her the money tomorrow. Of course she says yes. I jump online and go to order my cute, flirty dress. It's SOLD OUT!

So, I pick out a different dress, get it ordered, paying $27.00 in shipping. It should be here by Friday, and if it isn't, then I guess I'm going to this wedding in my pajamas!

There are times where I really wish I lived in a big city. I could have gone out on my lunch break and found an armload of dresses to choose from.

Feeling Thoughtful

Just yesterday I was texting back and forth with a friend that I haven't had much contact with in the last couple of months. I guess that's the way it goes, life and responsibilities get in the way these relationships sometimes.

Then I started feeling nostalgic and began reminiscing about previous friendships and acquaintances. We live in a small town, so even if I don't keep in close contact with someone who was once my a great friend, I will inevitably bump into them at Walmart. I guess that can be considered both good and bad!

For the most part, I am a true believer in the saying 'everything happens for a reason'. I think that people enter and exit our lives when they need to. It can sometimes be painful, but it can also lead to growth as an individual.

When I was little I remember my first day of Kindergarten. I got on the bus and made eye contact with Kai. We were the only little girls on the bus at that time and so we sat next to each other, our feet dangling over the edge of our seat. She told me "We can be friends, but I already have a BEST FRIEND. Her name is Nicole." It hurt for a moment, but I wasn't really looking for a best friend, just someone to sit on the bus with. A few weeks later Nicole moved out of the school district, and then Kai and I were inseparable.

Kai and I eventually parted ways, but it wasn't because of some pointless drama, she too had to move to another school district. We reconnected for a bit during high school. We were never at the best friend status, but we still called each other friend.

I guess what I'm saying is that there is always a reason that people enter your life. Another shining example is the friendship I made which led me to my husband.

I truly believe that if I had not become friends with this person, I would have never met the love of my life, my true best friend. Jeff thinks we would have met some other way, it is a small town after all, but I have my doubts. We didn't hang in the same social circles at all! Though this friendship ended on a sour note, I will always be greatful because it pointed me towards Jeff.

Some people enter your life and stay close to your heart forever. Some fill a void that desperatley needed to be filled, and then leave when the time is right. I think that all of my friends, whether they were good for me or bad for me have taught me something or given me something that I will keep forever.

Now, if you've actually taken the time to read this silly blog please don't misunderstand me. I don't think my friends aren't important. I would love to be able to keep all of my friends close to me forever, and I hope that there are a few who will be in my life forever, but I know that the majority of them will drift away when it's time. It could be by distance or birth of a child or just a natural drifting apart because we don't need what we were giving each other anymore.

Had to Change The Layout

I guess some people couldn't see what I was posting with the other colors. Bear with me here, I'm new to editing my layout on blogspot, so I'm sure there's going to be some funny looking stuff on here for a while. But, if you can read it, I guess that's all that matters!

My 25th Birthday

My 25th birthday came and went with a bang! We ended up celebrating with family and friends at our house, and I was in pajamas by 10:00. It was nice to lay low.

I can't believe that I'm 25! I don't consider it a high number, but it seems like only yesterday I was graduating high school. Now I'm a married woman with a real life job and mortgage. It's scary how things can change in such a short amount of time.

My present from my hubbie. A Coach purse! I'm officially spoiled!

Insurance....Why Do I Bother?

Every pay period I pay a certain amount towards my insurance. It's the smart responsible thing to do right? I always figured I was covered for anything I needed, as long as the Dr. requested it.

Now I need to have a something done, and my insurance won't cover it. We're looking at almost a thousand dollars. Yes they'll take payments, but that's not the point! Why am I paying for insurance every month when it doesn't help me when I need it?

And don't worry, it's not a boob job! :)

Enough Already!

Jeff and I went to the brand new bowling alley last night with our friends Doug and Sara. We had so much fun! They had new shoes, new balls, new lanes, and the place was just CLEAN. The employees were very attentive to our needs and made sure to come by every 20 minutes or so to see if we needed refills or would like to order some food. It’s nice to finally have another place where we can hang out with friends…and it didn’t cost us an arm and a leg to do it!

The only black spot on the evening happened when a group of 16-17 year olds sat next to us to play a game. On the other side of them was a family with a little boy about 3 or 4. At first it was no big deal. Then they opened their mouths. Every other word they said was either the F bomb or faggot, or my personal favorite ‘that’s so gay!’ Because I’m sure we’re all aware that a bowling ball not hitting the pins is totally homosexual. It doesn’t even make any sense!

After several minutes of listening to this, I finally said something to them when it was my turn to bowl. It wasn’t rude or mean…but they decided to make something of it, and Jeff stepped in. It was all stopped before it got out of hand and they ended up playing pool instead of bowling.

So here’s my problem. Why is it okay to use the word faggot? Or the ‘that’s so gay!’ comment. It’s being used as a slur and somehow it’s like it has become socially acceptable. I’ve seen kids use it in front of their parents and the parents don’t even bat an eye. I’m sure if they were using the N word it would be a different story.

Maybe this doesn’t happen everywhere else. Maybe since Susanville is such a close minded town it’s okay for these kids to run their mouths that way. But what are their parents teaching them by not correcting the behavior? What about when they move to a bigger city and these terms have become second nature? I just picture these kids 10 years from now in a corporate office giving a report…’and the reason we are in the red this year is due to the public not being informed of our product, which is totally gay! Maybe if that fag, John, would have spent a little more time on advertising, this wouldn’t be the case.’ Can you even imagine?

Valentine's Day

Jeff and I never do much for Valentines Day. It's not that we don't enjoy celebrating eachother, we just never feel the need to go to dinner on that day. Besides with Susanville having very view dining options, it's too crowded and crazy to try and go out on that night.

So we opted for a night in, he made me dinner and I made dessert. We played a new card game and called it a night.

Baking Away

Ever since Jeff gave me my new mixer for Christmas, I've caught the baking bug. It's a shame since I can't eat most of it, but I'm sure my father - in - law appreciates it! Most of these recipes are my first attempts, so don't judge the way they look!

Lemon Meringue Pie...and Chocolate Chip Cookies in the background.


Lemon Poppy Seed Short Bread


Peanut Butter Cookies (Jeff's dad's favorite)


Homemade Peanut Butter Cake w/
Chocolate Butter Cream Frosting

My Best Friends

What can I say about JoAnna and Sarah? They're my best friends. I think the older I get and the more I drift away from those that I thought would be there forever, the more I realize just how precious these two are.

JoAnna and I went to the same high school and graduated in the same class. We didn't actually get to know one another until we enrolled in the same English class at the good ol' Lassen Community College. After that we were inseperable. When I sit and think about the crazy trips we took to Reno, I cringe. We spent most of our late teens and early twenties hitting one party after another. There was a lot of studying in there too, but also a few dumb boys, and nights of mischief. I lost touch with her there for a while, I suppose that's what happens when work schedules are crazy and babies are added into the mix. We've both done a lot of growing up in the last few years and I'm proud to call Deputy Costa one of my bests!

Sarah is just a genuine person. She's beautiful from the inside out and I don't think there's a mean bone in her body. I couldn't have asked for a better Maid of Honor. She organized a wonderful bridal shower, and sat with me while I bitched about some stupid wedding etiquette or a mean consultant at David's Bridal. After we came home from our honeymoon our house was spotless! She even dedicated this last summer to helping me paint my new house. She's living in Chico right now, studying to be a nurse. I'm secretly hoping that when she's done she'll come back to Susanville. I really miss my Sarah time during the semesters.

There was really no point to this blog and no 'inspiring' message. I just wanted to highlight some very important people in my life. They're the best friends a girl could have. They've seen me on my best and worst days and they still love me! What more could I ask for in my friends?

Hip Troubles

Way back in the day when I was working for Walmart I started having a numbing, slightly painful sensation in my hip. It started on my left hip and eventually made its way down my left leg. It wasn’t painful, just very annoying.

I went to the chiropractor once, got adjusted and felt fine after that.

Now it is back with a vengeance. It started on Friday and it has progressively gotten worse. The numbness is actually shooting down into the bottom of my foot now.

So, after two restless nights, off to the chiropractor I went and he gave me an adjustment. I heard three loud pops from my left hip and now I’m hoping for some relief. It’s always unnerving to have that guy twisting on my body to try and get certain joints to pop. They tell you to relax, but how are you supposed to relax when your body is being twisted into the shape of a pretzel by a complete stranger?