Grief

Grief is a peculiar thing. It seems to hit each person differently. As most of you know, Jeff's dad passed two weeks ago after a long battle with brain cancer. The services were held last week, and it was amazing. There had to have been over 300 people there. The procession to the cemetery seemed to last for miles.

And then all of a sudden, after spending the whole week planning the services and visiting with family and friends it's time to go back to regular life. I think that's what I've been having the hardest time with. We had the funeral last Tuesday and I was back at work on Wednesday. It seemed so odd to me that I was supposed to forget to be sad and start caring again about where a piece of paperwork got filed or complete a background for a new hire. These things seem so small now. My life and my family's life will be changed forever, and now we're supposed to go back to what I was doing the week before Rick passed. It just seems unreal.

Then there are the days where we're with friends and we're enjoying ourselves, laughing and having a good time. Part of me feels guilty. I know that Rick wouldn't want us to feel that way, but I can't help it. I just wish that there was a book with set rules on how to grieve. Like, it's been two weeks, now you should be feeling this way. Instead it sneaks up on me at odd times during the day and I start thinking about everything I'm going to miss about my father in law and everyone else who is going to miss him too.

I fully believe that Rick is in a better place. I think that right now he's visiting with his parents, and nieces and cousin and having a great time. Gloria has said that we're not sad for him, we're sad for us, and she's right. I just wish that it didn't hurt so much for my family, but I guess that's just proof that Rick was a great man worth being missed.